Saturday, January 23, 2010

I'm sitting alone in my apartment on a Saturday night feeling like a bloody looser. I hear people around the campus having fun, going out, socializing and I'm sooo jealous. I want to be out there having fun as well.

I know it's only been a week and that I said before that I was going to focus on my studies and not care so much about making friends. boy, was that a lie.
I'm usually pretty good with being by myself and being around people 24/7 drives me nuts. but as it turns out the other way around is no good either. it's not that I need a large amount of friends, but a few times a week I need to talk with someone about random stupid shit or whatever is going on at the moment.

I really don't know what to do. I've talked to a few people, but I'm not really sure we'll talk again. chasing people down the hallway yelling "talk with me! talk with me!" seems a bit desperate, besides I want to talk with people who want to talk with me.
so have I always been this crappy at meeting new people? is there something about me that's off-putting? how did I manage to survive the US?
I know I don't make a very good first impression, I tend to either talk waaay to much or almost not at all. maybe it takes time to get used to all my quirks and then you notice what a good, fun friend I am (I hope - if I'm not, please don't tell me. let me live in blissful ignorance). but what do you do until you get to that point? maybe I'm just too old for this stuff...

I just feel really cut off from the world right now and I can't wait to go back to Höör on Friday and spend the weekend interacting with people I know and love.

2 comments:

Sara said...

Honey! First of all - you ARE a great friend. Never doubt that! Secondly, it takes tiiime. Just think about it - all of the people outside have probably lived in Växjö for some time now. But your classmates probably feels the same way you do. They are uncertain, tip their toes when trying to talk to someone etc. Just go with the flow, and if there is someone who seems to be "your type" ask if that someone would like to have lunch, so you can discuss the course so far... I assure you - you will not only talk about the course! See you on Saturday. Love!

Ellen said...

Alltså första tiden på ny kurs är alltid jobbig, det vet du väl? Svårare på en enstaka kurs där man kanske inte har lära känna-varandra grejer på samma sätt. Men finns det inget sätt att engagera sig på? Typ i olika föreningar etc.? Kan ju vara en idé om det mot förmodan inte lossnar med kursarna.